In 73 B.C a gladiator started a rising in Italy, which involved 70,000 break ones backs. Maximus was the one who was the leader of this revolt. Maximus became a slave, who had to fight in he gladiator games. Eventually he was in the amphitheatre fighting fir his life. Maximus also won the crowds heart as he killed each victim. he earned his great skill from wars before. Maximus was the greatest worldwide in all of Rome.
A Gladiator named Maxiums Gluruas, general of the Northern armies, precious his freedom when he had been captured to fight for batch for entertainment. After 5 years of being a slave one of his fellow man found him and told him that his army was located in Astua and ready to die for him. Maximus was brought into slain truth by a guy called Commodus, the empires son. Commodus didnt like Maximus, Because his father Marcus crleus had loved him more and wanted Maximus to be the empire. Maximus can to slavery and became a gladiator who won the crowds heart by killing each victim. His fights were in the amphitheatre (Built by the Romans).
In Italy on that point was a revolt. The biggest slave revolt in the history of Rome. Maximus, leader of this revolt, goals were to get his freedom and take raven Commodus. To set his goals or to get them ready for action he organized a group of 70,000 slaves and attacked Rome. Maximus was captured when he was in the revolt and he had to fight Commodus had a poisonous blade which would conduct Commodus fight easy.
Italy taking in slaves and killing them for entertainment. The Romans hired put down class deal to get slaves for out of the desert or go buy slaves from early(a) places so they could die in...
I woods have to disagree with Jamiec520 it has a good opening scarcely bad conclusion. I would grade this with a Green Smiliey existence he or she is only in 7th grade. compared to other people in high school this is really good.
Smiley, Hoba is right, the grammar and recite do need work. The idea is to give constructive criticism, non for you to nit pick and give bitchy comments to the people who make trivial typos in their intelligent advice on the work in question.
The hear needs work, non Hobas comments!!!
Although you gave some grammar errors and as everyone else agrees, your sentence social system needs work;however, to be in the 7th grade, I think you did an excellent job. I have seen college papers that werent close down to this. Keep it up!
You do not rate an establish based on how good it is relative to the grade of the economizer. The military rank shows how good a paper is, and this paper does not deserve the rating it has recieved. Correct me if im wrong, and i dont want to be the jerk, save this paper would give you nothing more than reading a summary on the movie on blockbuster.com or what not... very, very little depth
-nate
to be fair, if you are going to comment on grammar and spelling, you should check your own first. Scrapes not scraps!
Im afraid... whether someone is in 7th grade or not, this sort of act should not be posted on this site. Forget about the grammar, the essay is written as if it were a factual text on the subject of gladiators. As it stands, the essay is based almost wholly on the film, which is quite obviously a fictitious account. for modelling the killing of Commodus, which to the best of my knowledge was accomplished through the hiring of a professional wrestler. Obviously I would expect most people to realise this. My fear rather is for the fellow 7thgrader that uses this false culture as a basis for his own work. As a study tool I should hope that more effort would go into the verification of posted material.
I know that I didnt write this well when I was in seventh grade. Can I even remember that far back?...oh, well...anywho...
While there is room for improvement in this paper grammar wise, especially employing conjunctions; and essentially wise also by the information provided which could go farther in depth. But for a seventh grader this is an excellent paper.
safe Job.
The structure needs work. It doesnt flow correctly. I agree that the mental institution is poor. It has no transition from one sentence to the other. It is basically defraud statements grouped together. This needs to be proof-read. ExpertMaster - read it aloud to yourself and thusly you will see some places that dont sound right....well then you should swop them. Ill give this essay an 80%, which just scraps in for a smiley face....but still this could be better.
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